DAMN RIGHT i'm still alive! Doing everything i can to keep the pain to a minimum, or else i can't function in ordinary day to day life .. Anyways, no reason to mope around or whatever it's called, don't work to bitch around about it, i've tried.. I freakin' hate the fact that i've got resistance against almost all drugs now known to man (not kidding) and liver disease etc making getting high very hard .. Anyhow, one day at a time, getting clean, but i don't think its human to let me suffer like this. You see i can't get real painkillers since i'm a "known addict" and of course anything they would give me, naturally, i woulda abuse.. Bullshit, now they let me rot in my own pain and misery. If i've been an old lady Agnes, 57 years old i would get all the painkillers in the world, and more, because everyone knows that any swede under 50 could be a possible criminal/addict. Yes i do love sarcasm, not, lol. I like to confuse, to make people think.
Time to try to relax with the spasms and lightning pains striking my leg like Thors hammer shooting lightning across the sky.
No one reading this? Guess what, i don't give a shit hehe, this be my diary sort of. Untill next time, fuck off!
Catpiss. So sick of it, when my cat feels neglected he gets pissed, literally.. I've had him for 4 years now, but lately he's been' pissing everywhere because he feels i'm not doing everything quite right, that's all good but I CAN'T AFFORD TO GET PISSED ON shite, my new bed 300+ US dollars, the only new bed i've ever owned, just got pissed on .. And i KNEW he was gonna piss somewhere (except for his splednidly clean cat-toilet) because he sat down on my pants, yes, clothes are his favorite items to piss on. I know, he's just an animal, but i'm not made of clothes.
Yea, still in pain, nervedamage.. Now to watch some "Idiot Abroad" , and try to calm down, after being pissed on for the 5th time..
Untill next time - DC
So about a week or so ago i feel asleep in a fucked up position on the floor. Been having insane pains in my right leg ever since. So was to the emergencyroom today, again, as it turns out, i cut off the flow off blood through my body sleeping in that fucked up position. So now i have nerve-damage all over my right leg, i might never ever be able to walk properly again. but THE PAIN is what's killing me, from inside out, never felt anything like it ever before. I Gotta make sure to never ever binge so far again that i fall asleep in weird places and shit and end up being crippled for life.. Not fun. Take care kids!
I feel like snit, no idea what've happened i strung out one weekeened now for 7 days ive been hardly been able to walk. Tomorrow maybe emergancy. But if i i don't can't feel any pain i cant feel the need for a cure "qutote of he day" -DC
Gratitude. Is it so hard to show? I have to beg to get a thanks if i do something for my so called friends . If i got something it's cool coming, if not i'm just fuckin' boring? I'm not anybodys maid, fuck that. CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES.. God damnit my home feels like a recreational center for stoner or some shit .. All day long in and out , out and in from MY home .. Is it so hard to be grateful and respectful towards my home, that you get the privilage of being here, with me, even if most times im invisible. CHILL THE FUCK OUT .. Is it so hard not to stress? Take it easy, like Bob Marley said.. I do so much for my "friends" , and what do i get back, shouting, crap on my floor, disrespectfulness, just crap! I'm so mad, even tho i'm filled with pills and shit that would otherwise make me happy .. I'm off to the store, gotta buy a lighter since SOMEHOW mine keeps disepearing. Sometimes i just wish everyone were zombies. That's the final word.
EDIT: It happened again , with another .. friend .. Scored hasch for him , despite i rarely smoke. . Didn't even hear a thanks, tried to insinuate a thanks but alas, it did not work .. Humanity has alot of flaws. Anyways, the cat PURS when they people leave. It's me and him, my cat Spartacus, 4 years old :)
Take it easy! - DC
Heya! After weeks of not being left alone i feel like moving out into the woods instead, atleast there i would get some peace. I'm a very kind man, for being so hatefull.. So i can't really say no, you can't come, even if i wanted to so alot of time arguments takes place and even fights. The reason i'm getting evicted is because of another guy coming here being agressive, threatening me and still i get the blame for what he did and that was enough to get me the fuck out of here .. i've been staying here on overtime for over 3 months. They could use that shit as torture on gutanamo bay for fack sake .. Not knowing what kind of roof over my head is to come, not knowing..
Not knowing is hell for me, especially when i don't know where me and my son will live, but i know i got to get the hell out of here if i want to get some peace and quiet. I stay awake at night just to be alone, holy shit .. I just want my fuckin peace and quiet and my rules to apply to MY home . Respect is the keyword here, why can't everyone just show everyone else respect? Is it so fuckin' hard? Trying to get clean and people come over here with joints and shit, THC stays in the body like.. forever! So it's the worst thing i can do but ive been smokin for over 15 years now and it's like tobacco to me, i don't even think about it anymore... Untill the urine test that is and i get a warning because im on probation, yay fuckin ey .. My life sucks right now, even the cat can tell! Oh shit this is depressing, but life is shit most of the time so remember to care those awesome moments that is as rare as the world most sought after diamond! Piss out! I mean, Peace out!