I can finally start to feel human again. Shortly after my last entry i robbed a pharmacy and (almost) got away with 400 tabs of morphine and 50 benzos.. Why? Insanity perhaps, or so i'd like to think. Would never have done it in my right mind, but then again it might have been just what i needed considering where i was in life. I was sentenced to one year in Skänninge Prison even though minimum sentence for robbery is two years, i got real lucky. I always said i would never make it on the inside, but i was wrong, obviously. I'm now stronger mentally and physically and i feel like i can accomplish anything. I want to live a "normal" life more than ever, but at the same time i don't want to be constantly bored ofcourse.
What doesen't kill you makes you stronger. That expression is so true, even though, to be honest, there were times i thought about ending it all.. Let's just say my persona as a nice and empathic guy really didn't work out well at all at times when being in prison (duuh) i still never gave up my etics and morals but i was after a couple of months able to turn off my emotions and just not care about anything, which actually is kind of usefull, still.
Insanity roamed the halls of the prison, i learned to deal with the boredom but alot of people just snapped and had their fun by degrading and constantly trying to put other people down, trying to make others feel as bad as they did. I'd like to think i remained sane (as sane or insane as i already was entering prison). I woke up and realized what's most important in life: Family .
Be happy with everything or the little things that you have in life. One day it might all be gone and what are you going to turn to then? You don't know what you got, or what really, really matters untill it's gone for a long time, or forever. Appriciate being bored, appriciate being able to feel sad or happy. Appriciete being able to open your window when it's hot inside. Don't take anything for granted! Make sure you let everyone that matters to you know that they do before it's to late. Be happy over that ugly shirt your mothers made you last christmas that itches and just won't fit right because it might just be the last thing that you'll ever get from her.
Fuckin' prophet wannabe huh? lol. I've had eight looooong months to think and feel about everything and this was just a tiny tiny bit what i've come to think of, more to come, i guess. No stress. Stress is bad. Don't walk to fast, or you might just hit a wall, or fall off of a cliff, or some nasty shit like that. You don't want that. Be free, be good, be human. Fuck everything else.
Never to Relapz again!